Horrifying Day

Today I learned what it feels like to be responsible for someone's child when they get seriously injured and I never wanna feel that way again. Today one of our junior golfer was hit in the head with a golf club. I'm not saying it was my fault but it might as well have been. I really wish I had been able to stop it or had made a change to the situation. Anything. Made her hit her ball first. Made him go grab another club. Made her grab another club, or even just back up. I know it's not entirely my fault, but I do blame myself to some extent. But fortunately, as soon as she was hit she was able to walk and I picked her up and carried her to another mother with a golf cart. I felt something warm on my ear and pulled her away and found out she was bleeding, that was the one thing that freaked me out. The realization that this was real and she could pass out in my arms. So I said, Oh my god blood. The member mom kinda took over after I set her on the cart, she was slightly more calm than I was after putting a towel on her wound. She drove her up and I was already on the radio telling James to get the emergency contacts and be ready to call 911. She took her up to the golf shop and James took care of her. I had to hold it together while they took care her. I had the kid that hit her and his sister complaining about wanting water or their golf ball or their personal golf clubs and it took everything in me not to say do you not realize you nearly killed a little girl?! But of course they had no idea, they didn't know any better and their mom didn't want them to either. I found out later that her mom had been down at the pool and right before the ambulance showed up the little girl nearly had a seizure or passed out, and the mom started crying out oh my god my little baby. James nearly broke down right there. I can't blame him. I was about to start crying about five times during the gap between the hit and the finding out she was ok in the ambulance. I finally got the chance to after James returned and asked me if I was ok. I told him I needed to cry while I was scraping some of her blood off of my ear and hand. That got me. Right there. Her blood was on my hand, and I was less than 50 yards from where it happened. And I told him I needed to cry. So I did. He hugged me and I cried and told him I blamed myself and he repeated it wasn't my fault, we prayed about it. I had to tell some other people what had happened and it was hard everytime not to blame myself. But I have realized that it's not my fault. But now I will do everything in my power to never let it happen again. Also, when I normally do blame a coworker for certain difficulties in the job... this time I was glad he screwed up once this morning because if I had made him do something then he would've been there when it happened and wouldn't have handled it correctly. SO praise the Lord James and I were there and took care of the situation. I hate that it happened. And I never want it to happen again. Trusting God to forgive me for this accident will but hard but it is necessary because  I have a whole week of junior golf ahead of me, so look out juniors I will be the safety Nazi this week!